Message from John Carter

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Responses to My Posting Concerning Hygiene

Well, it's been an odd week.  Aside from things at work and in my personal life, this blog has really elicited a ton of responses from the posting I did earlier this week on hygiene.  And I mean a lot of responses.  I must have gotten fifty emails and text messages.

Honestly, guys, I was not talking about anyone in particular.  I was just saying what I generally like in terms of grooming.  And, I was listing what I do.  Just because I said I do all those things does not mean that YOU have to.  Really.  They aren't deal breakers.  (Okay, hair on the shoulders, that might be a deal breaker - as well as body funk...deal breaker!)

All kidding aside, here are some of the questions I was asked this week and my responses:

[Name Withheld]: I can't help it if I have back hair.  Why didn't you tell me that you didn't like it?

My answer: I wasn't talking about you specifically Mr. Withheld.  I was just saying that in general I don't care a whole lot for hair on a guy's back.  I've wrestled guys who had back hair and it was no big deal.  I actually wrestled a guy once with red back hair that was extremely soft.  That was okay.  But I was not talking about you.  Still, if you'd like to look into a little waxing, please don't let me stop you.

[Incognito]: I had not taken a bath that time we wrestled.  You thought I stunk, didn't you?  Well, I'm sorry about that.  It's glandular.

Dear Incognito, if it's glandular, what are you gonna do?  See a doctor?  I mean that.  Really.  Are you gonna?  You know, see a doctor?  Cuz maybe you should.  Dude, you stink.

[Incomprehensible Handle]: The hair that grows around my nipples is coarse by nature and has a tendency to become even more pronounced at certain times of the month.  I have tried shaving it back, but it comes back even darker and coarser.  There's nothing I can do.

Here's back at ya, Incomprehensible:  That does sound difficult to handle, as far as bodily grooming is concerned.  My only thing is that I would like to know what times of the month are best for me to wrestle you.  I'm assuming after the full moon?  And, no, I will not do it doggie style.

Until next time, my friends, keep on working out and wrestling...hard.  And if it stinks, wash it.  If it has sprouted hair, shave it.  Or not.  It's up to you.       

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