Message from John Carter

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Thursday, July 7, 2011

Answers to More Reader Questions

A reader from South Korea wrote to me and asked how I went about meeting a guy to wrestle.  What steps do I take to ensure that I am not going to get hurt or hook up with someone who is crazy.

I am a member of a website called  I typically (but not always) use that website to meet guys for matches.  I have a match set up for this weekend - so let me tell you the steps I went through to set up this match. 

I have been corresponding with a guy on the Globalfight website for several years.  I have never actually met this guy, but I have tried to set up matches with him in several different cities over the years.  We've never gotten together because of scheduling conflicts and such.  Well, several weeks ago I got an email from a guy in a neighboring state who said that he was acquainted with my other friend.  So, my match for this weekend comes through an endorsement from a third party.  That does not change the fact that I have never met either of these guys - the one I will wrestle this weekend or the one who recommended my opponent.  So, there is an element of risk involved.

But, Jay (let's just call him Jay) - the guy I'll wrestle this weekend - and I have spoken on the phone.  That helps a great deal.  You can tell a lot about someone by how they sound on the phone.  It's hard to give specifics.  Rather it's like whether your spider-sense tingles (a nod to Marvel Comics).  If the guy does not sound right, if he asks weird questions or doesn't seem interested in you or what you want - any of that can tip you off that maybe it isn't such a great idea to meet up.  Jay did not trip any of those wires.  He sounded nice and well-grounded.  Also, he looks good in the picture he sent to me.  The picture did not appear to be ripped from a website - it looked like a real guy. 

I got an email from a guy who lived up north one time - I guess this was back last Spring.  He wrote to me in a closely packed paragraph with no punctuation and no obvious train of thought.  It was all sort of bizarre free verse that ended with something like: "I am strong will crush you."  That was a very good example of the sort of communication that triggered my spider-sense.  Granted, the guy could be really nice but functionally illiterate.  But he sounded weird and vaguely threatening.  I did not respond.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that you have to use your common sense.  And, certainly, you have to gauge how much you want to wrestle the guy.  Jay is about half an inch shorter than me and weighs about five pounds more.  He is almost dead-on stats-wise.  So, I really want to wrestle him.  If Jay were six seven and two-forty, I might not be so inclined.  So, it depends on your motivation, too.  How much do you want to wrestle? 

Life is a bit of a gamble.  There's no way around that.  Sometimes you have to be brave and a little daring.  Not stupid or reckless, just willing to take a chance. Don't spend your whole life wishing you'd wrestled.  Do it. 

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