Message from John Carter

This blog is rated R and is not appropriate for people under the age of 18. If you are offended by gay content, please move on and read some other blog.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Coming Out About Your Love of Wrestling

I suppose I have some sort of balls to post a picture of myself after posting that picture of Tom Hardy yesterday.  I don't compare too favorably, do I?  Well, let's be honest, I'm not a thirty-year-old movie star.  But I'm not in too bad of a shape.  By the way, I'm wearing a pair of shorts that Mr. G - the guy I wrestled a week ago - gave me.  He told me they were too small for him, and I have to agree, they are small.  They're unbelievably brief.  They hardly cover my butt!  But maybe that's the point. 

Anyway, a friend of mine wrote me the other day and told me that he was slowly "coming out" to his partner about his love of wrestling.  It's an oddly ironic thing that gay men who love to wrestle actually seem to have two layers of coming out through which to pass.  One to their families and friends as gay, and another to their gay friends and lovers as a wrestler. 

I started down that road because of a book I was writing.  I wanted several authentic fight scenes in the book and told my significant other that I wanted to do some research.  So, I joined a Brazilian Jui Jitsu class.  Then, I started talking about MMA, watching The Ultimate Fighter on Spike and keeping up with various fighters. 

Next, I began to talk about college and high school wrestling.  I took a trip to Chicago to wrestle a bunch of guys and I told my SO exactly what I was going to do - well, not exactly.  But I admitted that I was going to wrestle. 

Since then I've started wearing my wrestling shoes to the gym, attending wrestling clinics and going to wrestling clubs in the various cities I've visited.  I watch college wrestling all winter on the Big Ten Network, and read Intermat ( - a website that is dedicated to college and high school wrestling.  I've met people at work who wrestled in high school and have even been asked to be an assistant coach at my old high school. 

So, now, when I come in to work on a Monday morning, my boss, a fundamentalist Christian, asks me if I wrestled over the weekend.  Friends ask about my matches.  My SO marveled at the extent of my bruises when I returned from Washington DC.  It's all just accepted as part of my life now. 

Yes, I know what you're thinking.  "But, you didn't tell them about the sexual side of it, did you?"  No, I did not.  That is, quite frankly, none of their business.  Besides, no one wants to hear about that.  So, I keep that side of things to myself - and between us here on the internet.

So, I urge you to take those first halting steps toward liberating yourself from the wrestling that only happens in your imagination.  Come out.  Embrace the real you.  Life is way too short to merely be experienced as videos or pictures on the internet, or as imagined scenes.  The real world is far more exciting.  I mean, look at the photo below - from my Washington DC trip.  That's me on top, ready to try and take down my opponent.  Don't just imagine yourself in this photo.  Put yourself in this photo.

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