Message from John Carter

This blog is rated R and is not appropriate for people under the age of 18. If you are offended by gay content, please move on and read some other blog.

Sunday, July 29, 2012



I have gotten quite a few emails from my last post.  Readers and friends both have been writing in and asking if I am okay.  I guess I didn't realize how my tone would come across in that last post, but I was sort of upset last week.  I'm not a super-competitive guy, but I hate losing - especially over and over again.  It reminds me too much of high school, I guess.

So, why the picture of the hot guy above?  Well, motivation for one thing.  I am determined to get bigger.  But, I want to be smart about it.  Some of my readers mentioned that I need to listen to my body, and I agree.  I think I knew that--I've been working out for years and I have learned to recognize what works for my body.  Unfortunately, part of that has been accepting the fact that my ideal weight seems to rest right around 140-145 pounds. 

Well, I say: "accepting," but not really.  I have also settled into a routine at the gym.  Lifting the same weights, doing the same exercises.  I need to mix it up.  If nothing else, I need to mix it up to avoid being bored.  But more than that, I think I can do better than I've been doing.  I think I can lift heavier weights than I do.  And the last few weeks have shown me that I can.

The picture above is from one of my matches a week ago.  I am on top.  That is Norcalfur on the bottom.  He's a nice guy to wrestle.  He has a good build and he seems like an okay guy.  The picture might give you the impression that I am winning, but it would soon go horribly awry and he would be on top.

I'm sorry about the rather poor quality of the picture.  It's actually a still from a video.  So, it's not HD quality.  Here's another:

The guy in the mask is Geoffrey.  A lot of the time that we wrestled, we would all three wrestle.  It was fun, but also sort of frustrating, because if you got an advantage over someone, the third guy would help out the guy in trouble.  So, the matches tended to go on for a while. 

So, here's the plan for the coming week.  I will hit the gym four times, and  cut back a bit on my running.  I will be concentrating on major muscle groups, and trying to get as many good calories as I possibly can.  My weight this morning: 146.5.  By the end of the week I want to hit 147.5 or even 148.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Gaining Weight

Yeah, I realize that in our fat-saturated, super-sized America, a guy lamenting that he can't gain weight is akin to that British writer who recently lamented that she was too pretty.  But the truth is that I am too damned thin.  And not just thin.  I'm sort of insubstantial.  I weighed 142 pounds on June 12th.  Now, I weight 146.  I'm struggling to get up to 155 pounds.  That's where I'm headed.

Why am I going on about this?  I wrestled two guys this past weekend and really had a hard time with it.  They were both very competitive, and I lost my matches.  It sort of pissed me off.  I work out constantly and I eat right, but I am just not a big guy. 

I mentioned in my last post that I was upping my weights. And I have been.  Getting enough exercise has never been a problem for me.  I work out four times a week, plus I run in the mornings before work, plus I do 200 crunches and 60 push-ups (or pull-ups) before work.  I work out.  But I don't get a lot bigger.  I get cut, but don't add size.

So, I downloaded an app to my iPhone called Livestrong (from  This app lets you determine the amount of calories you need to take in to gain weight (or lose weight).  You enter the food that you eat during the day for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks, and you enter the exercise that you do.  The app figures out the amount of calories you've ingested and expended and tells you how many you have left to go.

I am supposed to take in 2,513 calories a day.  That may not seem like a lot since a single entree at Olive Garden can contain around 1,000 calories, but I don't eat at Olive Garden.  I fix my own food for the most part--lunches, dinners, and breakfasts--and I am trying to take in "good" calories.  I mean, I haven't resorted to a tub of Ben and Jerry's.  Instead I've concentrated on egg whites, protein drinks, baked chicken breasts, and fresh vegetables.  That is why it's so damned tough.  Those foods do not contain huge amounts of calories.

I mean, take breakfast: four egg whites (420 calories), two pieces of dry Health Nut Whole Wheat Bread (200 calories), a bowel of Great Grains Cereal (200 calories).  That's only 820 calories.  I've added a bottle of Monster Milk protein drink (350) and that helps.  But I have to maintain that during the day.  Sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode.

Anyway, I'm working at it.  I've never been heavier than 150 in my life, so can I reach 155?  I don't know but I'm going to try.  And the stud in the pic at the top of this post?  That's the look I'm going for.  That's why I've got to eat protein-rich, low fat foods and lift heavier weights.  I don't want to look like Tom Hardy as Bane in the new Batman. Did you see how he looked with his shirt off?  Not cool, Bane.  Not cool. 

Friday, July 6, 2012


I think this is an older photo of Travis Paulson, a College and Olympic wrestler who just seems to get better looking as time passes.  In the photo above Travis is showing off his amazing body and has that sort of look on his face that says: "Come on.  You think you can take me?"

When I was in Chicago I got into an arm-wrestling match with a guy whom I was wrestling.  Granted he's got some weight on me, but I was somewhat disappointed in my performance.  Since then, I've been giving some thought to how I might improve my strength.  And, I am using the photo of Travis to help with that.

When I work out, I typically use relatively light weights.  My work outs are geared toward giving me a lean, sculpted look rather than big muscles.  I settled on this approach to lifting weights several years ago because I found that my body has a tendency to react better to lighter weights, more reps.  But, as I said, since Chicago, I've been re-evaluating.

I have decided that I am going to increase the weight I use and drive myself to complete failure on specific exercises.  By this, I mean that for any one body part that I may be concentrating on, I am going to take at least one exercise and work up through the weights until I cannot go on, then I will work myself back down through the weights until complete failure.

I've done this over the last two weeks and I think I am already seeing some results.  I don't know if I will ever look like Travis up there--he's lean like that because he seriously watches what he eats and I like a glass of wine every now and then--but I am going to get as close as I possibly can.

Who's with me?  Anyone want to share their workout secrets?  Want to work out with me virtually?  Share your workouts and results, and I'll do the same.  Let's go, guys.  Let's get in shape so the next time we wrestle we drive each other nuts.

Monday, July 2, 2012

The Rules of Attraction

                                           A photo from my oil match in Chicago.  That's me on the right.

My last day in Chicago was definitely my best.  I’ve had some time to sit and think about it now, and I think the thing that strikes me about the two matches I had that Saturday is the feeling of attraction I had for the two guys I wrestled.  Not only were the matches good – lots of back-and-forth, lots of sweat, lots of flexing and showing off—but there was a sexual chemistry at work as well that seemed to define these two matches. 

So, what are the rules of attraction in a wrestling match?

Rule Number One:  It’s always great when you meet up with a guy and you think he’s hot.  You’ve probably seen him on Globalfight or some other website.  Maybe you did a little Skyping with him.  Maybe a webcam.  Maybe you traded pics over email.  But that moment when you open the door and actually lay eyes on him is the moment when you truly find out if you are attracted to the guy. 

But, I would say that it is even more of a rush when you find that the other guy likes you, too.  In fact, nothing is more of a turn-on than to find that someone is attracted to you

How often do you look at your body and find all the countless flaws and imperfections?  How often have you looked in the mirror and thought: “My God, I look like shit!”   Well, nothing dispels all that negative energy like running into a hot guy who thinks you’re a hot guy.

I don’t mean that to be some indication of my vanity.  I just mean that it feels good to have some sort of positive feedback from someone you respect.  I work out – a lot – and I try to eat right.  So, when I wrestle a guy and he lets me know that I’m okay – and he looks fantastic – well, that is a major sexual flipping of my switch.

Rule Number Two:   Attitude and look.  Both guys had the right sort of attitude.  They were not gay and by that I mean they were not feminine in their mannerisms or speech.  They looked and acted like guys.  S (I had wrestled him the previous Thursday night) has a shaved head, a goatee, and tattoos down one arm.  He has a well-defined, hairy chest and big legs.  And he dresses like a guy.  He arrived at my door, shirt already stripped off, in just a ball-cap and baggy shorts.  I jumped him immediately.

T is all smooth and tanned.  He has that perfect skin-tone thing going with absolutely no body hair on him.  He has his hair cut like mine – extremely short, and these well developed pecs that you just want to reach out and grab.  T and I oil wrestled, which was perfect because his body is so sleek and toned that a thin sheen of oil makes him absolutely amazing to wrestle. 

Rule Number Three:  Enthusiasm.  Both guys love to wrestle.  They like to trade body shots and talk trash.  They like to be put in holds and taunted and to break free and turn the tables.  They like to flex and show off and act like total studs.  It made me want to do the same.  T, in particular, likes to shove me and talk like he’s going to kick my ass.  The first time I wrestled him (last fall) I was a little intimidated by him.  But not this time. I shoved him back and tried to give him back what he was trying to dish out.  It made the match that much more intense. 

So, those are my rules of attraction.  Wrestle a guy that you like and who likes you, show up looking and acting like a guy, and be ready to rock.  Obviously, these rules will not apply in every match.  It’s inevitable that physical attraction may not always be a two-way street.  But you CAN apply rules two and three.  Those are variables that you can affect.