Message from John Carter

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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Internet Infatuation

Okay, I've been working to gain mass since about July 19th, and here I am - October 3rd, and I weigh 151 pounds.  Still four pounds short of my goal of 155.

The good news is that I am lifting heavier weights than I have lifted in twenty years.  So, I'm stronger than I have been.  But, boy, gaining that extra weight is tough.  I think the problem (again) is that I am lifting five days a week, but not taking in enough calories.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do to get more. 

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I want to talk a bit about a phenomenon that I have observed, and experienced, a few times over the last few weeks.  I will call it Internet Infatuation--the rush of emotion bordering on love--that one experiences when corresponding with someone on the Internet.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I had signed up for an online service called Scruff.  It's an app you download to your phone or iPad and it let's you know what guys are in close proximity. I put a profile out there, mentioned that I was looking for wrestling or work out buddies.  But I got only a few hits from guys who wanted to wrestle or work out.  And none of those panned out.

But I did get a hit from this kid who did not have a profile picture.  He wrote to me, and I wrote back saying something like "Hey."  He then proceeded to write me, often.  I mean, several times a day.  These messages are basically text messages sent through Scruff's text service, and I got a lot of them.  The guy wanted to see more pictures of me.  Wanted to know what I liked and didn't like.  Wanted to know where I worked.  I did not answer that last question.

I tried to be nice.  Which was dumb.  I told the kid that I would not meet him unless I saw a pic first.  Instead of sending me a pic, he wanted to know if I would ever date someone who wasn't in great shape.  Then he told me how he walked sometimes.  I stopped writing back to him.  He continued to write me - becoming angrier and angrier that I was not responding.  So I blocked him.

That sort of thing usually doesn't happen with wrestlers.  I think you are more prone to see that behavior from general dating sites.  (I am no longer on Scruff.)  But I experienced it this past week on Globalfight.  A guy, who lives a long way from me, wrote to me and kiddingly challenged me to a match.  He was cute, so I wrote back and bantered with him a bit.  This went on for a day or so with us exchanging emails in which we described how a match would go between us.

Then, he asked me if I would consider being his boyfriend.  Again, this guy is around a thousand miles away from me.  But, you know what?  I wanted to say "yes."  I had gotten caught up in the give-and-take of writing.  You know how these email things can be.  Emotions can escalate and before you know it, you actually believe that something real is happening.

But, it's not.  Not really.

We are so isolated in our tiny islands of life.  Especially wrestlers who are gay.  We are sprinkled here and there across the globe, and even when concentrated in a single geographic area, we find reasons to avoid the wrestlers who are close.  These internet infatuations give us a momentary glimpse into another person's life and give us hope that we can actually live in a world where wrestling a hot guy is part of our everyday existence.  It's tempting.  So, damned tempting, to give in to these impulses.

But, you know what?  I am going to act rather than just email or text.  If a guy is really someone I'd like to wrestle, and he is interested (seriously) in wrestling, I am going to muster the financial and temporal resources to go and meet him.

So, next year:

Toronto
Phoenix
DC
Chicago

Bank on it dudes.  If you live in one of these cities - or in close proximity to one of these cities - and you want to wrestle, lemme know.  I'm coming your way in 2013.  But, you better be in shape.  I plan on being ripped up and ready to rumble.    



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