Message from John Carter

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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dominance and Submission

I had lunch a while back with a wrestling friend of mine, and the conversation turned to dominance and submission.  I've always known that wrestling was akin to bondage and submission, but it had been a while since I'd sat and discussed the relationship between beating a guy on the mats, and making him submit to you--fully.

My friend is a very nice guy.  I want to get that out there first.  He does not look to hurt people, and he doesn't want to inflict pain.  Rather, what he was talking about was the game of dominance--the role-play (if you will) of one man dominating another.

As I write it, I think role-play is not the right term.  Yes, each individual does accept and fulfill a role, but that doesn't really do it service.  These are sexual roles that are assumed when one man shows--through his own physicality--that he is dominant over another man.

My friend was speaking specifically about a guy he'd met whom he was thinking of wrestling, and then dominating.  Forcing the guy (with his consent) to submit completely and totally.  Not just in sex, but in their entire relationship.  He was speaking of collaring the guy--a term that I admit I had heard, but which I knew very little about.

My friend is extremely well-built.  He has what I consider to be a great body.  But, I was wondering whether I would want to be dominated by him.  Would I like being forced to submit, to grovel, to open myself to another man on that level?

The answer, I think, is no. 

Although it's true that I enjoy being beaten in a wrestling match, and I like being told that I am weak, and that I can't win--I equally enjoy winning.  In fact, for me, personally, I need to have at least the illusion that I can win.  I love to wrestle a guy--even a bigger and stronger guy--and still have the impression that it's a fair fight.  I can loose in that instance, and be fully aroused and ready.

But, that's wrestling.  Would I like to totally dominate another guy? 

                                                        Me, as of December 16th

Here, I would say...maybe.  Here's my perfect scenario:

The guy would have to be blonde and smaller than me.  Maybe no more than 140 pounds.  He would need to be slim and slightly athletic.  I would want to wrestle him first, and really work him over.  Showing him again and again that he can't beat me, that I am truly his better.  Then, once we were exhausted and covered in sweat, I would take him and force him to do my will.

So, is there anyone out there who fits that description who would like to try this with me?  Lemme know.