It's always been wrestling with me. So how did it all sort of tip over into dominance and control? Okay, I understand that wrestling is about dominance and control. I get it. But dom and sub BDSM seems a little more kinky to me. A little less wholesome. A little less Iowa and a lot more San Francisco.
Does any of that make any sense?
But, I have to know. Am I a natural submissive? Or do I secretly want to dominate and control another man?
It is a question that I have asked myself for years. My recent experiences tell me that I am capable of being submissive, but only with the right person. Mr. G, my friend from Texas, is a good example of that type of person. He has the physique and the attitude to allow me to shift into a submissive mode. He knows what he wants and understands the dynamic of control--the psychology of dominance and submission. He doesn't attack me. He doesn't scare me. He takes things slow and easy, and eases me into a frame of mind where I can relax and allow him to take control.
Of course, I want to experience the opposite as well. I want to dominate. I don't think that is possible with Mr. G. - and quite frankly, that's okay-- he's too alpha to be a my beta, so I will have to look elsewhere for willing submissives. And, by the oddest of coincidences, I may have found one.
Completely unrelated to wrestling or this blog, I met a guy who admitted to me that he wanted to wrestle me. He wants me to dominate him, and force him to perform sexual acts which, he says, he finds humiliating. We have been discussing the possible parameters of this, and it appears that he and I are on the same page.
He lives here in town, which is pretty damned handy. But, still, I'm a little nervous about this whole thing. I think I over-think things, and I've sort of imagined myself into not wanting to go through with this. Odd, I know. How many times have I gone to a hotel room to meet a guy just to wrestle? A lot, let me tell you. But, this seems different to me. There's a different vibe at work. A different yin and yang. Bondage stuff still seems sort of 1950's Betty Page to me. We should be photographed with black bars across our eyes.
So, I'm not sure how I will do in this scenario. I will see him first time tomorrow. We are going to meet, wrestle, and then he will be my slave. This will either be a remarkably entertaining afternoon, or I will rush home to scrub myself with steelwool. Let's hope it's the former and not the latter.
I want to explore all this, though. I really am curious to see how I do as a dominant. I think I've learned a few things from Mr. G. - but his approach to me is not the same that I will employ tomorrow. My friend here in town wants me to be pretty rough with him. No pain. But he does want me to be aggressive, and I intend to be aggressive.
So, anyway, I'll let you know how it goes.