Sunday, May 12, 2013
Trust is definitely the key factor. To allow another person to tie you up and basically have their way with you, you have to trust that person a great deal. I decided, this past weekend, to see if I could do that. It turns out, I can, to an extent.
Anyway, trust was a big part of what I experienced. My friend, let's call him Mister G, is extremely well-built. Plenty strong, but not really any bigger than me. In fact, that was part of the turn-on in all this to me. I had a chance to beat him, and to escape, but he over-powered me and had his way with me (all with my consent).
Here's my captor. He's hot, isn't he?
We started out wrestling. We love each others bodies, and wrestling Mr. G is as much about feeling his well-defined muscles, as trying to pin him. He's stronger than I am, but on that Saturday morning, I decided that I would not even really try to win. I wouldn't just give up, but I was determined to be dominated. Mister G gladly dominated me.
Once I admitted his dominance on the mats, he led me into his bedroom where he fondled me and worked to put me at ease. I was a little nervous. Again, this was new to me. And slowly he got me to relax and then blindfolded me.
Surprisingly, it was harder for me to relax than I'd thought it would be. He bound my arms, and then my legs, and quietly explored my body. He applied what felt like feathers to me and ran his hands over me, all the while reminding me that I was his.
I did not enjoy all this as much as I wanted to. I think the inability to see him sort of dampened the sexuality of it. I am (apparently) very visual, and when he finally removed the blindfold and made me look at myself in the mirror, I started getting a lot hotter.
The infliction of pain can be a big part of all this, and I'm not too crazy about it. He put me across his lap--which I liked--and then spanked me. I did not enjoy the spanking so much and I found it hard to keep an erection when he did that. I think the play humiliation and helplessness are more of a turn on for me than the true infliction of any physical discomfort. And we talked about that afterwards.
So, am I a submissive? Not really. I don't think this is something that comes naturally to me. I really want to play this scene out again, but this time I want to be the dom. I have a chance to do that this coming week with a guy from here in my town. I also have a chance to do this with a really hot guy later this summer. But I think I need to practice. I learned a lot from Mister G this weekend. I learned how to allow a guy to relax. To reassure him that you are there to facilitate a fantasy, not to hurt. I learned to take it slowly, and to build up to the more intense scenes. I also learned that it's important to gauge what turns your sub on. My turn-ons are visual and tactile. I like having his hands on me while I cannot respond. And I like seeing him when he does it. He has such great arms--I like the look of his biceps and deltoids as they contact and elongate when he is in the process of running his hands over me.
Will I do this again with Mister G? Yes, absolutely. Should you try it? I would give that a qualified yes. It depends on what you want in a sexual experience. If this sort of thing is part of a recurring sexual fantasy, then I think you should search for someone to help you explore it. Maybe that person is me.