Message from John Carter

This blog is rated R and is not appropriate for people under the age of 18. If you are offended by gay content, please move on and read some other blog.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

The Internet Life

Sometimes I like to go to Sean and check out the hot guys.  I'm not sure how this website manages to find so many incredibly sexy guys to strip and fuck, but they sure do a good job of it.  The picture above is of one of their more popular guys right now.  He lists himself as Stu and Stu is a lot of fun to look at.

Because there are several videos of Stu posted, you can sort of track his growth over time.  I'm not sure how much time we are talking about, but Stu goes from being a really fit young guy to an very muscled young guy.
Stu is on the left in the shot above, and as you can see, he has fantastic abs, great arms and legs, and a beautiful face.  He is one of those jocks that retains a kid's face while maturing into a man's body.

I have no idea how large Stu is.  I assume that he is around six foot, and maybe 190.  Too big for me to wrestle competitively.  But still, he'd be fun to wrestle, wouldn't he?

The guys at BG East need to track this guy down and see if he'd be willing to wrestle. 

Stu again, this time on top.

I wonder just how sold Stu is on the gay life.  I mean, is he a college student just goofing around for the money and the thrill of having guys on the internet get turned on by him? I wonder if he thinks he can do this for a while and then go back to his "normal" life?  I wonder if these pics will show up on some guy's desk who is interviewing him for a job?

The truth is, that I sort of understand Stu, at least on one level.  I do not look like Stu in any way, but I do work out a lot and run, and I've posted quite a few pictures of myself here on this blog as well as on my profiles at globalfight and Meetfighters.  There is a satisfaction that comes from knowing that someone finds you attractive, especially when you have gone through most of your life never having experienced that.  It feels good.

Working out, for me, is sort of an OCD activity.  I've done it so long that not doing it feels like I am doing something wrong.  Too, working out is relaxing for me.  Exhausting, yeah, but relaxing in that it usually gives me a chance to sort of zonk out and focus on my physical being, rather than the focus which is usually on my work.

Sometimes, when I see pictures like these of a guy like Stu, I think how I'd like to wrestle someone like him.  Someone that great looking.  Someone that built.  Honestly, I have.  Several times over the years.  But it's not a common occurrence.  Most of the guys I wrestle are in ok shape.  If I wrestle a body-builder type, he's usually six feet and over two hundred pounds.  It's tough finding guys like me.  Smaller but worked out.

Too, I'm older.  There is no denying that I am in my mid-fifties.  I'm not a kid anymore.  I think I'm in pretty good shape for a guy my age, and I was lucky that I always looked young.  But that doesn't mean that twenty-year-olds want to wrestle me.  (Actually, some do.)

Another aspect to this whole thing, is the fact that a picture is one thing, but real life is another.  Tanned and pumped, Stu looks like some Greek god.  In person, I can be pretty pale in the winter.  I don't use a tanning bed.  So, if I get tanned, it's because I've been working in the yard.

I wonder sometimes what people think when they meet me in person after looking at my pictures for a long time.  I wonder if the reality is not exactly what they had hoped.  I wonder if meeting Stu I would find him to be a self-centered jerk, instead of the playful, fun guys I wished he was.

This pic gives me the impression (probably wrong) that Stu might like to wrestle around a bit.  But again, who knows.

So, I'll close out for the day.  Again, I think we all need to explore our deeper selves as much as we can.  As long as those desires don't hurt anyone else, I think they are basically okay in the greater scheme of things.  If you have wanted to wrestle but have been afraid to try it, take that leap and try it.  Find some guy who seems ok and see just how the reality measures up to your fantasies.  Then write me, and tell me how it went.  I hope it is everything you wanted it to be.

And if you are Stu, and you are reading this, write me, dude.  Older guys can be a lot of fun.  I promise. 


Wednesday, April 30, 2014



In the picture above, two stud wrestlers have met in the gym after hours to settle an old score.  The guy in the red singlet is a state champion who has beaten the guy in the blue singlet.  The guy in the red singlet is extremely popular in school and is one of those guys who just always seems to have everything go his way.  The guy in the blue singlet is sick of the red singlet.  He's tired of being beaten.  Tired of how stuck-up red is, how popular and how handsome.

And so they meet.  The match goes well for the red singlet.  He scores points, and is soon ahead.  But blue singlet has other plans.  He goes for red singlet's balls and cock, and starts to work them over through his singlet.  Red singlet tries to pay no attention to it, but soon he grows hard and his cock throbs at each touch from blue singlet.

Points begin to go out the window, as blue singlet gets red in a body scissors and reaches down into red's singlet where he grabs a hand full of cock and balls.  He squeezes and red lets out a low moan - not of pain, but of pleasure.

The, unexpectedly, blue hoists red up and turns him upside down where he uses his bear hug to squeeze the breath from red all the while using his tongue to work red's balls.  Red tries to escape.  Tries to reach around and break blue's hold, but the tongue on his balls is too much and his red singlet grows wet with pre-cum.  His singlet is stretched out exposing his chiseled chest, and his cock grows harder and harder as red realizes that he is trapped and at blue's mercy.

How will this end?

Saturday, April 19, 2014

A Superhero Unmasked and Defeated

A recurring fantasy of mine is to wrestle someone whom I should be able to beat, but who turns the tables on me.  Whenever I see a story that someone has written about this sort of thing, and guys who write stories about wrestling fantasies write about this sort of thing fairly regularly, it usually involves the debasement of a superhero.  The hero races in to battle the villain, only to have the villain pull some under-handed trick that renders the hero helpless.  He is then stripped of his uniform and mask, and then sexually tortured.

I've always wanted to recreate that scenario, but to tell the truth, I've never really done much role play.  Once, quite a few years ago, I wrestled a guy who lived in Memphis who was into role playing.  He was extremely handsome and wanted to be the hero.  I was assigned the role of the evil villain.  We wrestled at his house, and I subdued him and then made him my slave for the afternoon.

There is something very satisfying about watching a muscular guy humbled and tied up.  Forced to do your bidding.

I think this all goes back to a wrestling match I had with a guy in High School.  I was in gym class and I was assigned to wrestle this kid who was generally considered to be a book worm.  Funny thing was, I was as much of a book worm as that guy, but I hid it.  Anyway, my friends all wanted me to kick his ass, but when I got on the mats with him, I found that he was an extremely good wrestler.  Very smart and very calm.  He pinned me.

The humiliation that I felt, being pinned to the mats by this guy whom I should have beaten, my friends laughing at me, the coach with that look on his face.  All of that should have been something that I quickly forgot.  But I did not.  It has stayed with me all these years.  I had enjoyed it. I actually wanted to wrestle the kid again. 

But I never did.  And so, I - like a lot of guys - am left with this unsatisfied urge to wrestle and be beaten.

Now, the thing about this scenario that I should point out is that I have to wrestle someone that I should be able to beat.  It has never worked that well with me against guys who are a lot bigger than me.  And I wind up wrestling big guys fairly often. 

No, it needs to be someone more my size. 

Thursday, April 17, 2014

What's Been Going On?

When I arrived at his hotel room, I knew what to expect.  We had been corresponding for weeks.  We'd sketched out what we wanted from each other and I knew that he intended to dominate me. 

I knocked, sort of tentatively.  He opened the door and he looked just like his pictures.  He wasn't so much bigger than me.  In fact, I had more muscle than him.  I would guess we were within about ten pounds of each other.  He was thin, with a shaved head, and he grinned when he saw me. 

We greeted each other, perfunctorily, and he led me to one side of the room where he stepped back and looked me over.  Then, methodically and slowly, he stripped me of my clothes.  At each stage, he'd step back and admire his work.  I could see that he was hard through his jeans and he snapped pics and grinned at me.  Soon, he had me totally naked.  I flexed a little for him - in order to intimidate him - but it didn't work.  He knew he was going to own me.
He turned me around and I heard him take a few more pics of me, then he was right behind me and I felt his arms around me.  At first is was soft.  An almost loving embrace.  But then he caught me in a bear hug and dragged me to the bed.  He was on me in a flash, me naked and hard, him in just a pair of jeans.  We wrestled back and forth.  I sensed I could beat him.  I was far more muscular than him.

And I turned him over and pinned him to the bed.  But as I was gloating over my victory, he turned the tables. He reached down and began to message my hard cock.  His hand was strong and he worked the head and tip, distracting me.  He had me over and on my back, as he worked my cock, grinning.

"You're weak, little boy," he whispered to me, as he pinned me.  I fought to escape, and was again working over into a position to pin him, when he caught hold of me again and began to jack me.  I tried to fight it off, tried to ignore it, but I was weakening.  He caught me in a reversal and pulled me over and across him so that my back was to his chest.  He pulled my head way back and worked my cock, all the while taunting me for being so weak, so helpless.

Soon, he'd worked me around and clamped chains on my feet.  Again, I fought him, but he worked my cock so skillfully that I collapsed onto the bed.  He then shackled my arms. 

For the next two hours he worked me over.  He used a variety of devices on me.  Brushes, his mouth, his hands, a vibrator.  He edged me and edged me for so long until I begged him to let me cum.  And when I did, it was huge.  A great gush of cum that spurted across the bed and across my chest.

*                       *                       *

The above is a true story.  That was last week.  A week before that I wrestled Rivalwrestler from Texas who came up and did essentially the same thing to me - although he tied me up.

Before that, I made a trip out to Oklahoma City where I wrestled a few different guys.  I had a really good time out there.  Met a nice guy from Witchita who drove all the way down to wrestle with me.  We got out the tarp and wrestled in oil.  I think we had a great time.

And I wrestled another guy in Ok City who came over during lunch, and wrestled with me.  He was pretty hot and he got me in holds where I was immobilized.  Then he'd work my cock like a mad man until I was unable to fight him.


Monday, January 27, 2014

I Need to Wrestle

This past weekend was a bit of a drag.  I caught the flu - or something very nearly like it - and it sort of ruined my weekend.  Here it is Monday, and I feel just fine.

Go figure, huh?

So, I decided a while back that I would try Scruff again.  That is an app for your phone that lets you meet guys.  It tells you exactly how far they are from you, and you can text them and set up a meeting.

After being back on it for a while, I remember now why I dropped off of it.  The guys on this app just want to text - endlessly, back and forth.  How are you. I'm fine. What's up? What are you up to?  On and on. 

I haven't actually met anyone yet.

Certainly no one like the stud in the pic above.  Yikes.  I'd like to get him on the carpet and wrestle him into a few holds. 

One thing about Scruffs that cracks me up is that guys always ask the size of my cock.  "What size are you?"

I don't really know.

I guess I must be the only male in America who has not measured the length of his cock, but honestly, it never occurred to me that I needed to.  I mean, I've never walked away from a guy because his member was undersized.  I've met a few guys whose members were, in fact, rather small, but that was no big deal. 

So I never know how to respond, exactly.  Lately I've just taken to selecting a number a random:  Seven.  Forty-nine.  Three hundred and eight. 

One guy sent me a pic of his cock.  Then another.  Then another.  Then another.  And on and on.  I finally just texted him back and said, "Yeah, I got it."  I mean, it wasn't like they were artfully posed shots.  It was just him and his cock in the bedroom - in the kitchen, ominously close to a knife sharpener - in front of the bathroom mirror, looking particularly jaundiced - in front of the TV apparently watching "The Bachelor."  I was expecting him to send me a shot of the Eiffel Tower with his cock in a beret, or a shot of a smiling President and Mrs. Obama with his cock waving in the background. 

But that's the difference between people you meet on a site like Scruff and those you meet on a wrestling site.  We are more interested in seeing each others chest and arms.  Our abs.  Our shoulders.  The face can be important, but not always.  Other guys, they just want to see the cock.  How's it hanging?  Well, it' know...hanging. 

So, will I actually meet a guy using this app?  I doubt it.  One guy I texted with for quite a while seemed promising.  But when I texted him and asked if he'd like to meet, he just texted back, continuing the conversation, as though I'd never asked.  He didn't want to meet.  He just wanted to text. 

So, when will I next be wrestling?  I hope this coming weekend.  Then, the week of Feb. 14, I will be in DC to wrestle for a few days.  Can't wait!!

Monday, January 20, 2014

How'd This All Get Started?

The other day I was trying to remember how I ever got interested in wrestling.  I'm aware that most of the guys who equate wrestling with sex came to it through professional wrestling.  And I watched pro wresting on Saturday afternoons on occasion.  But most of the time my grandmother was busy watching it too, and she really believed that it was real.  She actually fell out of her chair one day watching a match.  I thought she'd hurt herself.

But I don't recall being particularly turned on by pro wrestling until I was in my teens.  I think part of the reason I didn't like it as much was because the guys always seemed so huge...and older.  Many of them had full beards.  They looked like grown men, and I think I was just not that turned on in those days by a huge, hairy guy.  I've changed now.  I can definitely appreciate a muscled guy with a hairy chest, and I certainly have no issue with the age of a guy.  But I'm talking about when I was a kid.

So, anyway, pro wrestling was not the genesis of my interest in wrestling.  Rather, I'm pretty sure it originated from reading comic books.  I loved comics, and I was lucky that I was bought comics by my mom pretty often.  Whenever we went down to Weingarden's, I would sit on the floor in front of the spinning rack of comics and search for the one's I wanted.  When I got my haircut, the barber had tons of DC comics.  I invariably read the Flash or the Green Lantern while I got my bi-weekly crewcut.  And when we went to the drug store, I was at the rack again, buying copies of the Amazing Spider-man, Thor, Hercules, and the Sub-Mariner. 

I'm not sure how I translated the pictures of the muscular guys in tight spandex into sex.  I mean, I'm not sure why that is what happened with me, as opposed to just liking comics.  Probably the fact that I was gay and desperately wanted to have sex (even at eleven and twelve) got sublimated into a fetish for muscled guys who struggled against each other.

My absolute first encounter with wrestling involved a kid who lived on my block.  In those days, my mom and dad both worked during the day, so I was turned out into the streets to play until dark.  I also had the run of the house, so there was plenty of privacy if I wanted it.

Anyway, this kid on my block was a year younger than me.  He was very handsome and had a great body.  It sounds sort of pervy now, doesn't it?  But when you're eleven or twelve and you really want to have sex, you try your best to find a way to do it.  The problem was that I did not know what the hell sex was.  I just knew that wrestling a guy really got me excited.

So, anyway, this kid - let's call him Ken - and I were playing.  I don't remember what we had been doing, but I suggested we go over to my house.  My older brother was out, and the house was quite and dark.  For some reason Ken and I wound up in my parent's bedroom.  We were not on the bed, however.  Instead, we were in the floor, talking.  I remember the room being dark - the shades were drawn, and my mom's vibrating exercise machine was against the wall.  You know what I mean (I hope) --one of those machines with the band that wound got around your waist and then it would shake the shit out of you and you were supposed to lose weight.

I suggested that we wrestle.  Kids, young kids especially, always want to wrestle it seemed to me.  And Ken was ready to take me on.  We wrestled back and forth across the carpet, and pretty soon we were hot and sweaty.  We both had that smell guys get when they're wrestling.  That clean sweat smell - I haven't smelled it in a long time.  Men don't smell the same.  And frankly that it fine with me.  But I can't help but remember how we smelled.  And how I wanted to wrestle with our shirts off.
I'm sure I told Ken that we need to strip down because we were so hot.  I vaguely remember telling him that he had a great body (believe it or not).  And I remember him swelling up with pride at that.  Then we wrestled some more.  I loved the feel of his body.  Loved the fact that I could control him and the match and make it last and last.  He was so determined to pin me or make me give, but he just wasn't strong enough to get me in a position to make me submit.

Then, suddenly, he had to go.  He struggled into his shirt and began making excuses about how he thought he heard his mom calling for him.  I almost begged him to stay, but he was gone in a few brief seconds.  At that time I didn't even know how to masturbate, and I was left with that flushed, throbbing feeling that comes from being aroused with no release. 

I'm not sure what I did to make him so uneasy.  Maybe it was just the realization that what we were doing was so private.  Or he caught on to how I was reacting.  I never attempted to undress him or anything.  It was all just wrestling and frankly that is all I knew to do.  I had no conception of anything beyond that.  But, again, I was eleven or twelve.

Now, I have no interest in children.  That is not the point of this story.  I like grown men.

No the point is that I was trying to recall the point in my life when sexual desire became attached to wrestling.  I actually recall that I had this timeline memorized as a kid as to when I started thinking this way.  I tried to hold onto that memory, but it has faded over the years and I can no longer recall it.
But I can recall those first, fitful, awkward attempts to find a wrestling soul mate.

I'm still looking.


Saturday, January 18, 2014

Taking Charge

There is this guy from a state over who has been writing to me.  He found me on a website - not Global - and had been wanting to wrestle with me.  The first time he wrote to me, I wrote back and said I'd wrestle him.  I guess I meant it in the polite but never-gonna-happen sort of way.  I really didn't think we'd ever wrestle.  He lives about eight hours away from me.

He wrote back and said he was driving over to wrestle me. 

Ordinarily, that would not be a big deal, except for a few things.  He didn't ask me if I was free.  He just said he was coming.  I was not free.  I had already made plans with my family. 

Then there was his size.  He weighs 285 pounds.  He's six two.  And he has this pot belly. 

When I told him that I was not available that weekend, he was not very happy about it.  I guess when I had originally written back and said I'd wrestle him, he took that to mean that I was ready right then.  Or at least, in the near term. 

His email back to me was really sort of rude.  But, interestingly, he started in on wanting to know exactly when he could come over.  I wrote back, saying I thought I might be able to be available the next weekend. 

But I did not hit send.

You see, it had finally hit me.  I don't have to wrestle this guy.  No matter how insistent he is about his wanting to wrestle me.  No matter that he is willing to drive a long way and get a hotel room.

I don't have to say yes.

That might seem self-evident to you, but for some reason I've found that I have fallen into the habit of trying my best to wrestle anyone who wants to wrestle me.  No matter whether I find them attractive or even interesting.  I always say yes.

I've decided that I am not going to do that anymore.  I gotta stop.  I wind up wrestling these huge guys - all way over 200 pounds (I'm 145) - and I just can't do anything with them.  I can't move them around.  I can't get them off me when they get on top.  It's just no fun for me.

But mainly I'm starting to examine my approach to all this wrestling business.  I still love to wrestle and I am staying in shape.  But I am going to be a little more circumspect in choosing who I wrestle going forward.  I am not going to wrestle anyone who out-weighs me by more than forty pounds unless they are in really great shape or I know them already and are a friend.  I'm not going to wrestle guys who don't take care of themselves.  I work out all the time, and while I don't expect other guys to look like Kellen Lutz, I do expect them to be in some semblance of shape.  

I had a match (so to speak) a few weeks back with a guy that was really great.  I had met him before, but I had never had a chance to wrestle with him alone.  I'd can't really explain it, but as soon as I walked in the door and saw him, I knew I liked him.  We had a great time all morning long.  He was sexy and physical, and I really enjoyed myself.

So, you see, you can have great meetings.  It's just that you have to be true to yourself about what you want, and what you don't want.


Thursday, January 16, 2014


There is something about a clean-cut, muscled jock in a singlet isn't there?  The guy above has a lot of the attributes that I find compelling in a wrestler: smooth muscle, clean-shaven chest and face, and blonde hair.  I'm sort of a sucker for blonde hair.

I don't know why that is, exactly, but if I had to guess I would think that it is because when I was a kid, one of my friends was a guy who had brilliant blonde hair.  He was an absolute asshole, no doubt about that, but he was handsome.  Even as a kid, he was built really well.  He was very athletic.

I always wanted to wrestle him, but he always found some reason not to wrestle with me.  Usually, he'd just run away from me.  Weird, huh?  But he would.

I think the reason he did this was that he really found something provocative in the fact that he was not involved.  For instance, one of his favorite things to do was to get one of my friends to invite someone over.  He would hide, and then get the one friend to ask the other friend whether he liked him.  He wanted to over-hear someone speaking badly of him.  Isn't that an odd compulsion?  I've never met another person who had that desire.  This was a twelve-year-old kid, by-the-way.

I asked him about it several times, but he never would answer me.  He'd just shrug it off and change the subject.  I think that part of his problem was his father (big surprise).  His dad never called him by his name.  He always referred to him as 'boy.'

Was that some sort of evidence of abuse?  If it was, it wasn't much.  I never saw him look like he'd been hit.  In fact, he always looked really nice.

His blonde hair gave him a perpetually clean look - like even though he was covered in sweat from playing basketball, he still looked neat.  And attractive.

I sort of fell out with him about the time we hit puberty.  I started hanging out with a bunch of second-tier jocks that liked to wrestle and play football.  He was basketball all the way.

And, one day I was riding in the back seat of my dad's car and we passed by his house.  He was on the front porch in the act of putting on his t-shirt.  I never will forget that image.  I had not seen him in a few years, but there he was, muscled up and tan from the sun.  His hair was matted with sweat but still looked perfect.  I think I almost came all over myself.

The guy in the picture above reminds me of him.