Thursday, May 8, 2014
The Internet Life
Because there are several videos of Stu posted, you can sort of track his growth over time. I'm not sure how much time we are talking about, but Stu goes from being a really fit young guy to an very muscled young guy.
I have no idea how large Stu is. I assume that he is around six foot, and maybe 190. Too big for me to wrestle competitively. But still, he'd be fun to wrestle, wouldn't he?
The guys at BG East need to track this guy down and see if he'd be willing to wrestle.
I wonder just how sold Stu is on the gay life. I mean, is he a college student just goofing around for the money and the thrill of having guys on the internet get turned on by him? I wonder if he thinks he can do this for a while and then go back to his "normal" life? I wonder if these pics will show up on some guy's desk who is interviewing him for a job?
The truth is, that I sort of understand Stu, at least on one level. I do not look like Stu in any way, but I do work out a lot and run, and I've posted quite a few pictures of myself here on this blog as well as on my profiles at globalfight and Meetfighters. There is a satisfaction that comes from knowing that someone finds you attractive, especially when you have gone through most of your life never having experienced that. It feels good.
Working out, for me, is sort of an OCD activity. I've done it so long that not doing it feels like I am doing something wrong. Too, working out is relaxing for me. Exhausting, yeah, but relaxing in that it usually gives me a chance to sort of zonk out and focus on my physical being, rather than the focus which is usually on my work.
Too, I'm older. There is no denying that I am in my mid-fifties. I'm not a kid anymore. I think I'm in pretty good shape for a guy my age, and I was lucky that I always looked young. But that doesn't mean that twenty-year-olds want to wrestle me. (Actually, some do.)
Another aspect to this whole thing, is the fact that a picture is one thing, but real life is another. Tanned and pumped, Stu looks like some Greek god. In person, I can be pretty pale in the winter. I don't use a tanning bed. So, if I get tanned, it's because I've been working in the yard.
I wonder sometimes what people think when they meet me in person after looking at my pictures for a long time. I wonder if the reality is not exactly what they had hoped. I wonder if meeting Stu I would find him to be a self-centered jerk, instead of the playful, fun guys I wished he was.
So, I'll close out for the day. Again, I think we all need to explore our deeper selves as much as we can. As long as those desires don't hurt anyone else, I think they are basically okay in the greater scheme of things. If you have wanted to wrestle but have been afraid to try it, take that leap and try it. Find some guy who seems ok and see just how the reality measures up to your fantasies. Then write me, and tell me how it went. I hope it is everything you wanted it to be.
And if you are Stu, and you are reading this, write me, dude. Older guys can be a lot of fun. I promise.